With the end of lockdown nearing, I’ve come to a realisation that my life has not been entirely wasted by staying indoors. I’ve continued to improve on myself in terms of having a better mindset, eating healthily, expanding my cooking techniques, socialising skills and even learning a new language. Plus, Anna Akana’s videos definitely help me – she’s such a thoughtful therapist lol.
And in t is true that you’ve realised who truly cares about you and thinks of you during lockdown. And the same thing goes for me too. I love that I do put myself on a pedestal though at times, I can be considered too selfish. But then again, I am living my own life for myself, not for others. People are right in saying life is too short to waste it.
I have to admit, I have always said “yes” to hang out with people as part of an obligation, just to extend our friendship. And I also have to admit, I do find some hangouts boring, and a waste of time as conversations become too superficial and mundane. I don’t find myself enthused about hanging out with them anymore. Perhaps we might have been close in the past, but when values and perspective change, friendships can’t hold on anymore.
I’m already over my quarter life crisis and over the years, I have gained and lost friendships. Some quite regretful, but others a huge sigh of relief. The friendships I have gained also reflects my maturity as I now find comfort in communicating with others who share similar values and beliefs like me. Friends who you can learn from and also, enjoying each other’s company. It’s different to high school, and even while I was at university.
At that stage, I thought I knew everything because I was already an educated adult. But I didn’t. I was beginning to learn more about myself and who I truly want in my life once I started leaving the bubble my parents carefully crafted for me.
It was my overseas travels that allowed me to be more in tune with myself. By not having my regular friends on my travels, I had to force myself to socialise with other people. I was lucky to discover and bond with other like-minded travellers. It is situations like these that also allows you to be picky with who you choose to hang out with as we would make plans to see each other again over the week before we leave the country to our new destination.
I guess this allowed me to be quite confident in myself as now I’m more assertive about who I want to spend my time with and my own wellbeing. I won’t go out of my way to please other people if it means bringing myself down in the process. No way. The only obligation I have in this life, besides my family, is to keep myself happy.
I still have a very very tight circle of friends in which we basically grew to understand and care for one another. We go to each other for life advices and solutions. Those are the friendships I value and go out of my way for.
We don’t always have to see each other on a regular basis but will always have each other’s back.
So yes, a day spent in my own internal therapy in which I rewarded myself by satisfying my food cravings 😍