Sydney Lockdown Day 35

I didn’t even set an alarm yet my body just want to start being conscious before 7am. I rebelled by staying in bed for a few more hours until my stomach started growling for food.

At least I was able to watch a few more movies and am now inspired to rewatch Bleach. But I’m not sure whether I’m up for that adventure today because I need to catch up on marking 😢 #teacherslife #worklifebalanceishard

I wonder if there is an easier system to combat this but I think there isn’t. English teachers work longer hours than the other teachers because we teach every single student in high school. It is the only mandatory subject yet our rewards are no greater. Our Federation recognises it and has been fighting for equality in terms of pay, hours release time, etc.

Clearly English is prioritised. If students are expected to do more work for English, then aren’t English teachers expected to plan more activities and mark more?

Even the DET released this visual (see above) stating that students should spend more time on mandatory subjects during online learning compared to other subjects. Then why aren’t they providing us with more release time to do necessary marking and their ever-increasing admin work? I never have time to lesson plan and there are so many fun lessons I want to do with my students but there’s just no time.

But you know what, like I said earlier, I’m just surviving one day at a time. I’m glad we have the weekend to at least slow down. I’ve been watching new episodes of Penthouse Season 3 and Nevertheless while marking so that was at least productive. I’m glad I can connect my mac to the TV as my second screen to allow me to multitask and use my time wisely (since there’s never enough time).

I’m also rewatching The Matrix again. It’s like I have to rewatch all the films I’ve seen when I was younger to better understand the plot and its nuances. Like, I knew what the movie is about but thinking about it now with my 25 year old brain, I wonder if we are living in a computer-generated society. Majority of us are all following the societal system of working in order to earn money. Then using the money to attain our desires and buy our convenience. And the cycle repeats again. In between that, we have to organise our time efficiently to spend with our loved ones and live our own lives. But we do have our own autonomy. Just like how people have the ability to fight for what they believe in.

And that is what Simon Biles and Naomi Osaka did recently. Both of them are from my generation and they are such role models. Who cares what society thinks? Why do we have to meet other people’s expectations? It’s our own life.

Mental health is priority especially in this day and age. It hasn’t been spoken about very widely because it wasn’t normalised, especially not in my culture. We need to normalise talking about mental health and that it is ok to be anxious, stressed and depressed. These are all feelings and emotions human beings, in fact any living organisms, can experience.

There has been days when I had to think twice about whether this is the life I want to continue living this way because of all the pressure I had placed upon me. I was told to do this and to do that in order to have a great and easier life. But what about my happiness?

If I was asked if I was truly happy right now…I wouldn’t say 100%. Now that sounds a bit depressing but in this situation, it sounds about right.

Yes, I have a caring and supportive family, great network of close friends, dramas to watch, a job to fund my expenses and I have to say, I am privileged in this life.

And yes, I got to eat wonton mee again! Never in my life did I think I would be able to make it but I did it! Only thing is, I forgot to add veggies but at least there’s my fave enoki mushrooms in there.

I know my situation is better than others but I have to say that even the richest human in the world is not 100% happy. I don’t think anyone can be 100% happy or satisfied with their life. There will always be something that deters you, makes you unhappy…something you’ll complain about.

But, I love that I have people I can rant to and go to if I need any support. I love the internet. I love that I’m independent. I love that I give no shits about other people. I love that I am a bit selfish, superficial and blunt. I love that I am somewhat free (and will be even more free after this situation gets under control). I do love me. No, I’m not a narcissist. But I am a person who respects and loves me.

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